For 18 years I have been married to a selfless woman, a loving woman, a caring woman, a prudent woman, a beautiful woman. 18 years, wow! My dear bride has given birth to our precious 6 children with one more on the way any time now. I mean wow!
She has been my side as a student, as a pastor, and back again as a student (some of us are in the school of Christ for life and need instruction more than others). She has followed my lead and has scaled the mountain top experiences of life’s journey with me as well as been there by my side in the dark valleys God has sovereignly placed. Who am I to obtain such favor from God? In His wisdom and faithful care over my live, the creator and sustainer of this universe has blessed me with the wife of my youth and I REJOICE! I REJOICE! I had no clue what kind of a woman God had entrusted me with in Angie when I married her 18 years ago, especially when I said the words, “I DO.” I thought I did. She is an excellent wife and her worth is far above jewels. May the Lord be praised for His lovingkindness to us these years and may He be pleased as we walk in His light for the years to come. So today, I think back and reflect to that wonderful day when I was asked, “Do you take this woman to be your wedded wife?” A thousand times with a thousand more do I say, “I DO!” I love you mi amor, happy anniversary.
“He who finds a wife finds a good thing And obtains favor from the Lord” (Prov. 18:22).
Hard to believe that I am on my final day of the Grace Advance Academy.
Much has been spoken, heard, and absorbed in these last 8 weeks. At one point I thought about taking the two-week Intensive in January, but I am now grateful that the Lord provided a bit more time to absorb these truths and principles of ministry.As I reflect back, I would like to take the opportunity to rehearse some key thoughts that I wrote down from various faithful teachers. It might be helpful and serve to explain these memorable weeks. Because of how I organized them, I include the date and name of each teacher. Some include a quote, a word from me, or some general comments they made to us. Note that this is not exhaustive and thus does not contain all the teachers, but as I looked back on my notes, I decided to incorporate some of them into this blog post.
Monday, June 2 (Lance Quinn) –
“the God of Providence will take up your cause”
“think big, small plans don’t inflame the hearts of men”
Lance exhorted us to create an appetite for God’s Word from the pulpit and to do so relationally. “Spend time with your men” he reminded us.
Monday, June 9 (Mark Tatlock) –
The difference between man-centered approach and God-centered approach toward missions.
The church exists for worship. Address and discern what the people in any given culture think about God, man, Christ, and salvation.
The church exists for witness (See 1 Pet 2:4-12, Gen 11:4; 12:3; Ex 19:6).
The reality is that we have made our sanctification about ourselves rather than about God – a man-centered approach rather than a God-centered approach. The sanctification of our people is essential to the fulfillment of our Great Commission. We compromise our priestly role by idolatry/going after other gods.
Monday, June 16 (Matt Waymeyer) –
Sobering thought from Matt: “There is nothing we can do to safeguard against being a causality in ministry.”
He also said: “Distrust and questioning of motives is the point where things begin to crumble among leadership.”
I look forward to hearing from Matt the other side of ministry, perhaps I will take him out to lunch.
Tuesday, June 17 (Matt White) –
I really appreciated Matt’s passion for developing a ministry that considers the children in the life of the church. There are always extremes in ministry and I appreciated his balanced approach. He provided a wealth of resources, including a coffee cup that reminds me to pray for him, the children’s ministry at Grace, and my own children.
Talk about practical. He told us: “You need to find these three kinds of folks when you get to the church:”
A policer officer
A good lawyer
I would have never thought to look for such men, but now I realize the value of knowing such men.
Thursday, June 19 (Chris Mueller) –
2 Tim 2:2 – 4 generations (Paul, Timothy, faithful men, other faithful men)
The church needs to be committed to the next generation. People must fight against their culture to be Biblical.
Discipleship – Intentional relationships for the purpose of growth
Train them to be who God made them to be (cf. Eph 2:10). Acts 13:36 – “after he had served the purpose of God in his own generation” What is your purpose? How will you serve your own generation?
Know who you are.
Here was a great reminder to us men as husbands and fathers:
“Keep working on your marriage.”
“Make sure your kids see you the same at church and at home.”
Monday, June 23 (Eric Davis) –
The church is the sufficient organism to address the world’s problem – sinners before Holy God.
The sufficient method to address the world’s problem – disciple-making (Matt 28).
“Getting ordained must be a priority!” Lord-willing that is what I will endeavor to do this in these 3 years at Grace.
“Failure to faithfulness to the Lord is failure.”
Practice the one-anothers with one another. Church planting is highly relational.
There are 40 one-anothers in Scripture – the vehicle to navigate us through rough waters. Training the core-team to be skilled at Biblical relationships.
Do a lot of confronting of one-another. Read Proverbs.
Monday, July 7 (Paul Lamey) –
“The things which you have hear from in the presence of many witnesses, entrust these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also” (2 Tim 2:2).
Train leaders in conviction (“the things which you heard”) – the totality of Paul’s words/teaching, thus rooted in sound doctrine. Earlier he writes, “retain the standard of sound words which you have heard from me” (2 Tim 1:13).
Train leaders in character (“entrust to faithful men”) – men who are trustworthy, dependable. Look for life-patterns. Are they trustworthy in their relationships?
Train leaders in communication (“able to teacher others”) – strengthening the church, modeling ministry. Examine their abilities. What’s in place in the church to identify faithful men?
Friday, July 11 (Tom Pennington) –
“Our God is a God of details.”
8 Guiding Principles for time management:
Get over the 40 hr work week
Diligently protect your study time (15 hrs a sermon).
Intentional plan and protect your time with wife/family. With a young family, never out of the home more than 3 nights a week. Be available to your wife during the day. Screen calls when you are with your family.
Don’t imagine that you will have everything accomplished on your task list. It will be there tomorrow.
Wherever you are, be all there. Develop some etiquette on your smart devices. Tim Challies “The Next Story.”
Focus on shepherding your flock, instead of being well known. Limit your travel.
You don’t need more time. You need to use your time wisely. Learn to say “no.” Look at how you use your time.
Respond to divine interruptions. Prov 16:9 – “The mind of man plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps.” Serious life-threatening accidents. Suicide threat. Physical/sexual abuse comes to light. Major surgery.
Thursday, July 17 (Todd Murray) –
How to plan a service:
Begin with the fix elements (i.e. what passage of Scripture will be preached?; Scripture reading? Lord’s Supper? doesn’t have to be fixed but it may inform)
Choose expressions of praise that are appropriate (take care of change; pray, don’t merely exercise your preferences like choosing just your favorite songs; don’t manipulate through mood inducers like fast then slow; look at a topical index in a hymnal; is it singable; syncopation; is it Biblical sound; is it aesthetically excellent? Music itself is not a-moral but that does not mean that it is not a-potent; it is a powerful tool)
Pray as you can, do not pray as you cannot. Do music as you can. Do not do music as you cannot. Be who you are and be content with that.
You need to aim at beauty; musical excellence. Accompany the song.
Introducing new material: you need a strong vocalist. First impression is deep impression.
Remember not to introduce a new song every week or to introduce more than one song a month. Be thoughtful and strategic about introducing new music/songs.
Consider transitional remarks – put thought into them.
Be explicit, not subtle – this is why we are doing what we are doing this morning. “In a few moments…” “in the passage before us this morning, our pastor will be preaching…” “look ahead in verse 3…” “as i mentioned to the musicians a minute ago.” Perhaps a quick bio of the writer or history behind the hymn writer. We are keepers of a song/of a heritage.
Monday, July 21 (Alexander Strauch) –
“there is nothing more precious than laying the foundation of a church”
“everybody loves dead prophets”
“how to relate to people properly”
“Are you courageous or are you in fear?”
“kindness is love wearing clothes”
“sometimes the next wave of conflict hits you, but that’s the way it is in a curse world.”
Lessons in conflict from the churches of Galatia (Gal 5:13-26)— Act in the Spirit
You may limit my freedom to serve my brother through love. To bite and devour one another is to carry out the desire of the flesh.
When facing conflict, be controlled by the Spirit not the flesh. 2 Cor 12:20 – 8 social sins that correlate to Galatians (5:19-21).
When facing the conflict, display “the fruit of the Spirit.” Especially “self-control” (Gr. ἐγκράτεια).
When facing conflict, display the “wisdom from above.”
Learning to handle disagreement as a Spirit-controlled Christian.
Check our attitudes and conduct
Act in love
Seek the counsel of the Spirit-filled believers
Treat others with kindness and gentleness (2 Tim 2:24-26).
Lessons in conflict from the first Jewish churches
Control the anger – “everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger” (James 1:19-20). Be a listener. Ask lots of questions. Don’t do all the talking. Your angry disposition will never produce God-honoring behavior. “Be angry and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger” (Eph 4:26). “a gentle answer turns away wrath” (Prov 15:1). “A soothing of the upright” (15:4).
Control the tongue – “let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth” (Eph 4:29). Words of edification.
Control the criticism – beware of faultfinding critics. Whatever you say negatively about a person, will eventually get to that person. Do you really need to make a negative comment about this individual? Are you a person in leadership that is required to criticize? Is it for the person’s good that you are doing this? The right motive needs to be there.
Thursday, July 24 (Jerry Wragg) –
I thought Jerry summed it up well in his prayer before class. He prayed for this, “socratic cohort of pastors in residency.”
He said, “a good leader corals a wide range of personalities and moves them in the right Biblical direction.”
Corporate worship drives everything in the church. Gifting determines function; function and responsibility determined by gifting
Q&A as an outlet for the church. Elders are servants of the church.
Again, there is so much more I could write but at least I give you a grain of the wealth of wisdom and insight we were exposed to during these last 8 weeks. May God raise up faithful men through these men who desire to be faithful to the One true God. In an attempt to go back to my high school days and “sign a yearbook” as it were, I’d like to write a word to each of the men in our “cohort.”
To Steven I write: Your humility and transparency has been an encouragement to me. May the Lord provide wisdom from above through these days ahead and may He provide His sufficient grace to be a father to your precious little ones and to be a loving husband to your precious bride.
To Albert I write: Praise God that He brought you here to the States 16 years ago to study. Now as you continue to sit in the posture of student, always learning God’s Word and ways, may He bless your efforts for His glory.
To Paul I write: You make our big world small with all the friendships the Lord has brought into your life. May the Lord provide you further friendships, for I know you will be a blessing to them.
To Dan I write: Thank you for stepping out in faith. Coming to the Shepherds’ Conference and coming to GA, I am witness because of you, of God’s faithfulness to lead and guide. May the Lord bless your family and bring you into a loving church family.
To Darren I write: My Canadian brother! Praise God I met you. The attributes that Todd Murray spoke about in a music director/pastor are those I see in you. May the Lord see fit to grow you and establish you in Bakersfield in the years to come.
To Grant I write: My son will forever remember that man from New Zealand. I will too. I am excited for you and how the Lord will use you back home. We will pray that your in-laws come to a saving knowledge of the truth.
To Matt I write: I am grateful to the Lord for these years of preparation at Grace. Soon you will be a daddy to another little one! Praise God for preparing you and molding you into a servant for Christ and His Kingdom.
To Lawrence I write: I rejoice at God’s sovereign plan for you. I see your desire to serve Him and to serve Him well and it is encouragement and motivation to my soul.
To Rob I write: Thank you for serving us. You truly are a man who strengthens the church by your life and testimony. May God bring us in fellowship once again. I leave sorrowful that I missed a lunch appointment with you!
To Lance I write: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I am blessed by your honesty, integrity, and passion for the Lord and for His Church. May the Lord see fit to gift me with a little of what all of these teachers enjoy… a friendship with you! Love you!
Now in the words of what Aaron was to say to the sons of Israel recorded for us in Numbers 6:24-26 –
The Lord bless you, and keep you;
The Lord make His face shine on you, And be gracious to you;
The Lord lift up His countenance on you, And give you peace.’
When I struggle to sleep at night, I take a walk. I don’t leave my apartment. I just walk up and down the little hallway in our apartment. I spend time praying for my kids and my dear wife. Sometimes I’ll lean against the sliding door staring out unto the three-way intersection right outside our home. It’s the same one that a police officer uses to stop those individuals who go beyond a certain speed every weekday morning. It’s the same one that I wait for on my way to work or school. If to school I have to cross it by 7:31 am, lest I be late for school. A minute makes all the difference in the world in these parts.
I use to boast in that the nearest stop light was 8.8 miles away and it wasn’t even a full stop light. It was only a blinking red light. I use to boast in that traffic in the country meant having another car on the highway. Times have changed and I find myself staring out unto that intersection during the night watches.
That’s exactly where God has me in life. At an intersection. My life is here for the next few years.
My boasting days are over. At least in terms of blinking red lights and small towns. But I have not ceased giving thanks to God for placing me at this intersection. I’m finding not something else to boast in, but in Someone else.
No matter where the Lord leads me, I have the privilege and honor of being a dad to five beautiful children. I can be at any intersection of life, as long as I have the privilege of holding their hands across these intersections.
Then I think of my Heavenly Father. Not once has He left me. He has always held my hand, caring for me and my family. He is so good. I have both tasted and seen His goodness in my life.
Thank you God for this intersection of life. To You I say, Happy Father’s Day. You are the best Father and I am grateful to be a part of Your family, a part of Your Household, as your son.
It’s all right to be at a red light in the intersection of life. The light may never turn to green. Who knows, it may even just blink red and remind you of past times.
Psalm 34:2 My soul will make its boast in the Lord; The humble will hear it and rejoice.